Who Would have thought?

Things I’ve done in the last 60 days that I didn’t anticipate or expect having to do at age 33….

  • Having a PET Scan (protip: find something to chant or repeat to yourself during this lovely 20 minute experience)
  • Undergoing two diagnostic procedures within the span of three weeks and noticing the profound difference between doctors and hospitals. (The second hospital was much better, as was the doctor/surgeon.)
  • Hearing the words “lymphoma,” “lung,” and “you,” in the same sentence
  • Agonizing over what to wear to my first (and second) immuno/chemotherapy appointment: need to be both warm and allow access to my arms for blood pokes/draws and medicine administration
  • Getting fit for a wig. Or two.
  • Ripping off said wig as soon as it’s safe to and away from co-workers and clients because as real as it looks it is surely not comfortable.
  • Buying a purple/grey wig on Amazon because it is fun.
  • Being the person that a Lotsa Helping Hands website is started for (meal trains for the win) vs. being the person that is logging in to help someone else.
  • Finding out there are many people in my network who have experience cancer and thankfully come out the other side to share their survivor stories with me
  • Laughing out loud when a faraway friend sent me a “Fuck Cancer,” coloring book
  • Having my husband buzz my hair, a la GI Jane or the girl from Empire Records
  • Asking for help. Several times. Probably not doing it enough.
  • Being strong. All the time.
  • Avoiding Google at all costs. It’s a dark, slippery, rabbit hole…
  • and yet… Googling natural remedies to help with the minimal side effects I’ve been experiencing. Google can be amazing and oh so helpful.
  • Giving approximately zero fucks about things – not all things, but just some things. Talk about a perspective changer.
  • Keeping a mental calendar on the days I felt the worst (Days One through Eight, and again randomly on Day 13.)
  • Being thankful for a string of 12 good days in a row. And for treatment that is every 21 days.
  • Being thankful when you’re told that you have an 85% shot at clearing this thing with the first six rounds of treatment.

7 thoughts on “Who Would have thought?

  1. I wish you didn’t have to hear or do any of this stuff, but I wholeheartedly believe that a positive, sometimes even humerous attitude, is the best response to life’s challenges!

    Let me know what I can do for you, Nora. I mean it. ❤


  2. You are just so dang strong, I’m truly in awe of you. You have been dealt so much and thrown so many curve balls and you just keep knocking them out of the park. Love that you got a F*ck Cancer colouring book and I want a picture of you in the purple wig. Sending soooo many hugs and so much love to you. xoxo


  3. I’ll echo what Amber say – you are such a strong lady and I am also in awe of you. I know you have no choice but to be the strong woman you are but it’s still worth noting because not everyone has the spirit and strength that you do. I hope that you do ok after yesterday’s treatment and don’t feel too awful. I hear you on google not being your friend (besides helping you research natural remedies for things!). I have learned that googling things is terrible for my anxiety.

    Keep fighting lady! Love you heaps and heaps!


  4. You’ve got this, Nora! I believe in you 100%. And yes – you are strong and brave and tough and courageous… but it is ALSO okay to be scared and vulnerable and sad. These two things can coexist. Hugs and love. You’re my hero. ❤


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